Longing for the Sky

Through the Hole

2011-06-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

A splinter of winter has entered my soul
But, into its center, Light shines through the hole

Resurrection

2011-04-22T15:22:00.001-07:00

My death could never change the course of history

But still, a few would grieve that I was gone

How then, can one explain to me the mystery

That Almighty God would come to die alone?

He suffered in shame to pay for our salvation

He gave His life to lift those that were lost

And the elation in His sacred Incarnation

Was matched by misery every moment of the cross

So, when I ponder on the Glory He departed

And the sufferings He came to see and know,

I cannot see how our sad souls were regarded

As being worthy of His blood that overflowed

Yet, for the joy that He beheld before Him

All this agony and cruelty He endured

And, knowing that the masses would ignore Him,

Christ died to cry that He could be their Cure

But this supreme of all surrenders had not ended

For His victory was not fully achieved as yet

And, once Sin’s claim on men had been rescinded,

God’s death reversed, and killed the curse of death

His resurrection affords us an assurance

Of free life now and abundant life to come

We can know Him now and peer into His Presence

And, one day, He will herald us all Home

So, let each day bring upon me the doom of dying

Then let me grasp His life and learn to live again

And, as I reach for Him and realize I’m rising,

Let me die and resurrect and be like Him

Among Thorns

2011-04-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

I have watched a flower bloom

And impose its power over gloom

The flowers’ robes with glory shine,

Surpassing all that kings may find

Yet, on these garments men may tread

Though they best any silken thread

Stranger still, the blossom’s Divine Designer

Whose glory glows with threads much finer,

He Who scattered velvet on the ground,

Came to wear thorns in His crown

Atop Mountains

2011-03-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

I have gazed on mountain heights

But I could not stay to obtain the sight

The more I look, the more I find to see

The more I know the depth of my triviality

For the greatest work of the hands of man

Could not so long nor so grandly stand

Yet, the God who founded the highest peak

Came as a Man who lived with the meek

And the Master who called the heights from the tide

Humbled Himself and climbed one and died

Beneath Stars

2011-02-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

I can see beyond the stars

But I cannot reach near that far
And the more I watch them soar along
The more I long to hear their song
But my reach, my grasp, even my sight
Are far too far from their valiant flight
I wonder, then, how it could be
That the stars and all their majesty
Where named by a God Who stoops so far
To own and heal a broken heart

Dream of a Waking Soul

2011-01-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

I dreamed, it seems, that I may dream and bring to light the World unseen
And the thoughts that I thought and the visions I sought brought to light what sight could not
But even my dreams are inferior means to span the ravine that lies in between
And the works my hand wrought and the stories I taught are not but a jot to what He begot
And my hands are unclean and they corrupt what I glean but they cannot demean the Gleam of this heavenly Theme
For Grace has made me more than man may make and Glory gave me more than I can take
So, I live for my God’s sake and inside I ache to dream awake

This Fragile Heart

2010-11-22T17:04:00.001-08:00

This fragile heart is cracking and seems to be destined for pain
Indeed it is quite sadly lacking, and all of its motives are vain

My quivering soul seems unable to hold up when put to the test
Its stability is famously unstable, and its certainty doubtful at best

The mind above all is confusing and often will argue two sides
Either way I end up losing and find myself running to hide

Less than these would I praise power, for it fades as fast as the dew
And the might of a man is a vapor, and his reach is surpassed by his view

So why You would want my affection remains a great mystery to me
My most eloquent, earnest confession still comes as a pale, broken piece

My heart cannot love what you are worth; my soul cannot follow You true
My mind can’t conceive what You pour forth; my strength can never do

I still am infected with leaven, and all my parts prone to deceit
You call me upward to heaven while the ground still pulls at my feet

But You placed deep within me a Fire, Whose source must be from Above
It burns to be what You desire; with all my heart, soul, and power to love

So my feeble attempts I’ll surrender, and attempt to shore up their frame
For the only results I can render comes from the strength of Your name

Into Night

2010-09-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

A spirit of darkness hovers before my eyes
It secretes a fog of ebony lies
It creates a fear of what it hides

The night blocks all that the light would show
It makes me doubt what I might know
And I ran out of wisdom long ago

But there are souls lost in that pitch black
They fell beneath the grim attack
They need a Guide to bring them back

They wander the land of the valley of the shadow
Their burdens bend their souls down low
And to these souls some one must go

To these people in darkness, light must shine
To them, Truth must be supplied
To this task, some one must rise

There must be a Light darkness cannot overcome
There must be gleam to shine when day is gone
There must be a Conqueror who has already won

And so, we stand. And so we fight
And so, we shine with Heaven’s Light
And so, we pierce into the night

A Coming Storm

2010-09-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

There is a vision I have seen of storm clouds up ahead
A gale to match has never been, and it sight inspires dread

There is a choice that I must make of how I will prepare
Of what precautions I will take and how much I shall dare

There is a promise I have heard that calls me to the storm
But I often doubt untested words when I haven’t seen their form

There is a part of me which screams that I will be made a fool
And that smallest portion often seems the part that wields the rule

But there is another part of me that longs to press ahead
To smother my complacency and trust in what was said

Yet, here and there I seem to find shelter from the blast
And it would surely ease my mind to hide ‘til all is past

So, undecided, here I stand and think of what to do
I want to just throw up my hands and blame it all on You

For this seems so unneeded, this superfluous test
And my prayers seem so unheeded, unanswered like the rest

So I cast up one more longing glance toward the swirling sky
And I pray You have not turned to chance, and won’t leave me here to die

Remind of all that You have shown the other times I cried
Be my strength to walk alone and I’ll see You on the other side

Awake! Awake!

2010-08-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Awake! Awake! Put on might.
Awake! Awake! Put on power.
Awake! Awake! Rise to fight.
Awake! Awake! Face the hour.

Awake! Awake! Rise and shine.
Awake! Awake! The Day comes soon.
Awake! Awake! Light is thine.
Awake! Awake! Flee from thy tomb.

Awake! Awake! Night has left.
Awake! Awake! See and have sight.
Awake! Awake! Rise from death.
Awake! Awake! Christ will give Light.

Let me Sing Now

2010-08-13T16:13:00.001-07:00

Let me sing now of my Savior
Who died that I might live
Let me declare His loving favor
And proclaim the grace He gives

I wish to shout His awful glory
I long to tell His mighty power
Let me sing the old, old story
Report His Day and His Hour

Let me write that some may read it
Let me proclaim the message well
Let me preach to all who need it
Let me live His praise to tell

Across the Waves (also called "The Way of Waves")

2010-07-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I saw a faceless man beside a boundless sea
But what was on the other side neither I nor he could see
He stood upon the pebbled shore and stared across the tide
And thoughts of ancient sailor-lore aroused his fears inside
He dug his toes into the stones and turned his face away
Silently he stood alone in the dark of starlight’s day
Tales he had heard of the sea made him fear its foam
Wanderers had brought word of terrors far from home
Their grim horror made him dread the shadow of the waves
He held to the ground where tides are bound and their assaults are staved

And I dreamt I saw a glowing star giving out a lovely call
The waves all sought to blot him out, but he rose above them all
Its glory gleamed with Truth-light and spoke a message clear
It sung its way around the fright and divided all our fear
And then the man raised up his eyes and gazed upon the beam
The ocean’s grim and threatening cries were silenced by the gleam
And all was seen as mere milieu for the story of the star
And the man and I forgot our reason for remaining where we are
So we forsake our fear of going near the ocean’s raging wrath
We take foot in hand and leave the land and make the sea our path

And then, alas, I awoke though I wished I could dream on
For I longed to reach that singing star, though the journey would be long
But the more I found myself awake the more I saw that still I dreamed
For there was sense that I could make of what this star could mean
Today I stand upon a shore and dark waves assail my toes
And though I long to reach for more my dread will not let go
But over all the whelming flood a silent call breaks through
And the voiceless plea falls on me and replaces fear with Truth
So I pretend this won’t be my end, even though it may
But even so, still I know the waves will be my way

Did You?

2010-07-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

Did you think you could do this without Me?
Did you think you were up to the task?
Did you forget I have all you’ll ever need?
Did you even remember to ask?

Did you think you had enough of your own strength?
Did you think you could outwit sin and death?
Did you think eternity has measurable length?
Did you forget the God who holds your breath?

Did you think you could ride winds that can’t be flown?
Did you think you could do what you can’t do?
Did you think you could make it on your own?
Tell Me. Did you?

The Tombs we Filled are Crumbling

2010-05-22T19:11:00.001-07:00

The tombs we filled are crumbling
And the idols we built are tumbling
The safety we clung to is frightening
And the burden we bore is lightening

For the day is now near at hand, for which all creation groans
When praise will rise from surf and sand and stars and beasts and stones

The slaves are liberated
Grace is unabated
Now the lost will find
In darkness, Light doth shine

O Martyr! (A Victory Song)

2010-05-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

O Martyr, cling to breath no more
O Martyr, shed the cloak of flesh you wore

O Martyr, grasp no more at life
O Martyr, your flesh is worth no strife

O Martyr, you have triumphed o’er your foes
O Martyr, you have escaped their every blow

O Martyr, heed not false prophets foretelling doom
O Martyr, your end is not found in any tomb

O Martyr, do not fear the grave
O Martyr, through death your life is saved

O Martyr, blood has paid the cost
O Martyr, the soul that follows is not lost

O Martyr, look, look on ahead
O Martyr, see the land where death is dead

O Martyr, death is lost in victory
O Martyr, you now shall live abundantly

O Martyr, let go your bloodied sword
O Martyr, go be present with thy LORD

O Martyr, fight and win and die
O Martyr, suffer first, then fly

O Watchman! (A Battle Cry)

2010-05-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

O Watchman, abandon not your place
O Watchmen, keep a steady face

O Watchman, guard in night and day
O Watchman, in all conditions stay

O Watchman, heed not shades of night
O Watchman, send out thy beams of light

O Watchman, look upon the plane
O Watchman, see and say the same

O Watchman, watch for coming death
O Watchman, cry warning with all thy breath

O Watchman, see the horde that comes
O Watchman, stand and do not run

O Watchman, gather all your host
O Watchman, revile the assailant’s boast

O Watchman, send forth all your throng
O Watchman, the battle shan’t be long

O Watchman, stay vigilant and true
O Watchman, great things depend on you

O Watchman, the fight will soon be done
O Watchman, you have already won

O Sleeper! (A Call to Arms)

2010-04-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

O Sleeper, you slothful, selfish mass
O Sleeper, awake now to your task

O Sleeper, arise now with the sun
O Sleeper, the battle rages on

O Sleeper, abandon not your post
O Sleeper, stand before the host

O Sleeper, lift your dreamy head
O Sleeper, rise now from the dead

O Sleeper, there is yet much to do
O Sleeper, duty calls to you

O Sleeper, awake at once and live
O Sleeper, you have much more to give

O Sleeper, the world around you cries
O Sleeper, open up you eyes

O Sleeper, list to their grim wails
O Sleeper, arise and do not fail

O Sleeper, bring an end to night
O Sleeper, Christ will give you Light

O Sleeper, we’ve Life too much to keep
O Sleeper, live and do not sleep

Swansong of the Dragon

2010-04-20T21:05:00.001-07:00

In the night visions I beheld
A terror too terrible to tell
A dreadful dragon as it fell
And dragged behind it the heat of Hell

Its head was bruised and beaten in
The mortal wound worked within
To bring about the serpent’s end
Twas not a question of “if?” but “when?”

But before his grip on life slipped on
He cried out in a voice vile and strong
And the length of the fall that he fell was so long
That he had time to compose a corrupted song

“I fall! I fall! As I fell before
But now I fall forevermore
And the guilt and the blame and the shame that I bore
Are now exceeded an hundred times more

“But, though I go now to my doom,
The doom that down through the ages has loomed,
I have done all I could to make plenty of room
For those who would follow me down to my tomb

“Many I called, and many enticed
Many I baited with the virtues of vice
Many gave in, though they turned me down twice
At last they headed my harmful advice

“I seduced many more with ill-gotten gain
I ensnared them with vows of evading all pain
I gave lust and greed and everything vain
They loved me and mine, and welcomed my reign

“O what a ploy! O what a scheme!
With my cunning and with my wit oh so keen
I granted them more than they ever could dream
Now I must grant them my end, it seems

“That is what makes my deception so great
That they now must share in my torturous fate
They have seen the Truth now, but they saw It too late
I convinced them all that the Truth could wait.”

So singing, he fell away too far to hear
But it chilled my heart that his was so cheered
And my soul could not shake the terrible fear
Instilled by that dreadful song and drear

For, though ‘tis a vacant victory
Yet, it is much more than it should be
For the dragon’s vile and gluttonous greed
Cannot quench the Truth that makes men free

It is my own silence that allows him to sing
Our stifled speech lets his report ring
Oh, how dreadful and dire a thing
When the song of the dragon drowns the Truth of the King

comes Light

2010-04-03T21:47:00.001-07:00

I must not cower
I must not hide
Though I have no power
And by Nature’s laws, I have no cause for pride

I must not falter
I must not fail
And my way must not be altered
Though its end betides the place where all joys hide behind Death’s veil

I must press on
And I must fight
Until all shadows have flown and gone
And, with their last flight and death of Night, comes Light

The Highway

2010-02-16T12:34:00.001-08:00

The Highway

When I got on this road I didn’t know where it was going
There were no roadsigns pointing the way
But it went the direction the wind was blowing
And it looked as soothing as any road may

Now I’ve been going this way for quite a distance
No mile markers tell how far I’ve gone
I have only my feet’s uneven cadence
To measure the distance I’ve come

But at least this highway is not as thin as the other
Though its direction seems driven by chance
I never could stand narrow pathways that smother
And limit your freedom to dance

And that other way looked so rough and jagged
Not nearly as smooth as this one I’ve found
The other would have left my feet ragged
Here, good intentions pave the ground

So, still I walk this highway, not knowing my end or my speed
In the end I have done it all my way: each step, ev’ry thought, word, and deed
So, I hope that may be good enough when I come to the end and am dead
And I hope that hope is not snuffed when I arrive at the fire ahead

And now, despair grips my spirit
And now, my soul is not well
I can smell the flame, I’m so near it
This smooth highway has led me to Hell

Thus, highways are not always as they appear
And an easy road may lead to wrath
Be not dismayed by doubt and fear
Follow the straight and narrow path

O, Guiding Star (a song)

2010-01-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

The road I walk is dark and thin
The narrow gate I entered in
Revealed a path that never bends
But leads to the star I see ahead
The guiding star I see ahead

Other roads bear more ease
And other masters try to please
But the end is dying and disease
And I learned these worldly ways to dread
And turn to the guiding star ahead

O, Guiding Star, theme of my song
I follow Thee and flee from wrong
Though evil may pursue me still
I may come to Thee and it never will
Guide my feet, keep me safe from harm
And light the way, o Guiding Star

The way is black as a midnight wraith
The path seems rocky as of late
But I press on and walk by faith
In submission to what You said
I follow the guiding star ahead

Sometimes I wonder at it all
Not knowing where my feet may fall
But faithfully I heed the Call
But follow to where it has led
That guiding star I see ahead

O, Guiding Star, O, Guiding Star
Bring me safe to where You are
Loudly, brightly show the way
Tell the path melt into day
Then hold me gently in Thine arms
Where no darkness dwells, O Guiding Star

Satan's Lullaby

2010-01-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

Before my eyes I see a dream
And in the vision it doth seem
That Satan looks on earth and sneers
And his hissing voice he calmly clears

And as on the world the devil gazes, like a beast about to spring
His dark, demonic voice he raises, and a cursed lullaby he sings:

“Sleep, oh sleep, my hopeless child
Sleep, oh sleep, my blessed prey
Keep to thy bed safe and mild
Reap the fields another day

Sleep, oh sleep, young suckling babe
Sleep, oh sleep, thou mighty fool
Steep and toilsome is the way
Sheep are lost on crags so cruel

Slumber now upon my breast
Cumber not thy hearts to feel
Sleep, oh sleep, and find thy rest
Sleep, oh sleep, and lose thy zeal”

And so the devil sings to you, and so the devil sings to me
And so we think his words are true, and so we sit, and so we sleep

Oh, that while the LORD doth tarry
We would watch our adversary
Thwart his plans and stop his lies
And silence Satan’s lullaby

Heaven's Eyes (A Christmas Poem)

2009-12-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

We think of stars and hope and cheer
We think upon a midnight clear

We think of songs and angels bright
We think upon a silent night

But do we consider or stop to think
Or record the truth with page and ink?

That this night was black as all before
Who would notice one star more?

And the host that brought the shepherds word
Had before been in the presence of the LORD

We think of trees and joy and snow
We wonder at all of Heaven’s glow

But on this night so long ago
That Light made Himself stoop low

So what would be the tone above
In view of the great price of love

To look down from eternal glory
And see a feed trough, bleak and gory

To see the Word that created all
Condescended as a helpless child and small

What then was on Heaven’s Mind?
To what then were its thoughts assigned?

With my idle wondering I wish we would try
To look at Christ’s birth with Heaven’s Eyes

Redmption Cycle (an experiment in poetry)

2009-12-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

-Tasting Knowledge (being the first part of a cycle of poems)

For man to be alone was not good
God Himself thus had said
But who knew I had the choice I would
Should man be alone or be dead?

My companion offered me learning
That I knew was not mine to grasp
But within I still felt a yearning
That our hands might not be unclasped

So I took of the fruit that we shared there
And around sprang thistles and thorns
And the shame that we began to bear there
Was the heaviest clothing we’ve worn

--Wrestling Angels (being the second in a cycle)

I was sleeping alone in the desert
In the tiresome bed I had made
And my troublesome dreams bore no comfort
From the stone where my weary head laid

To myself I was wond’ring aloud there
How it happed that I’d be brought this way
But the thoughts that I pondered and found there
Had little or nothing to say

So I’m wrestling angels at twilight
And I’m hoping my vigor will last
But now all I can do is hold tight
And pray that the morning comes fast

---Fleeing Giants (the third in a cycle)

It was never supposed to be this way
But still, we find ourselves wandering the desert sand
Still we follow pillars by night and by day
Still we wait to enter the Promised Land

But we fled from the giants before us
We trusted not in Yahweh’s Word
Then His power ignored us
When we tried to take up our own sword

And now the reward for our slander
Is to march through the dust and the grime
For forty years we must wander
Fleeing giants the entire time

----Trusting Harlots (part four of the Redemption cycle)

I once was a strong man of valor
I put all my rivals to flight
I turned my foes’ faces to pallor
I haunted their dreams in the night

I knew my strength’s source was above
But my thoughts spent little time there
I denied all the power thereof
And then let a whore cut my hair

Now I can’t see where I’m going
I’m fed on stale, moldy crust
I ache from the weight I am towing
Of giving a harlot my trust

-----Slaying Allies (the fifth in a cycle of poems)

Up where I watched from my rooftop
I beheld me desire below
From there my lust would not stop
And I finally let myself go

But my sin had grim implications
And my actions would be brought to light
In the face of unlocked expectations
The brother I betrayed had to die

My transgression shattered my virtue
And it brought naught but grievous pain
It is a crime I would gladly undo
But my ally already is slain

------Awaiting Hope (part six of a cycle)

For hundreds of years only silence
Only cries for help have been heard
We are ravaged by famine and violence
Our kings are arrow and sword

The prophets no longer bring message
Not even to denounce our sins
What hope could uplift our visage
Lest we hear from the LORD once again

So we wait in anxious confusion
Fretting over our fate
We know there is but one solution
And until then, hope has to wait

-------Bearing Damnation (Being the Conclusion of the Redemption Cycle)

All the pain and all the grief
All the cruel and bitter hate
All the worry without relief
For every man both small and great

Every wrong done and planned
Every instant act of rage
Every wrong from every hand
Every brunt of evil’s wage

All the foul and vile deeds
All the lust and fornication
All the selfish, slothful needs
All the guilt and condemnation

Every egotistical act
Every scheme with guile prepared
Every dark and fiendish pact
Every tyrant that brought despair

I bore, I bore them at the end
I bore the crimes of quick and dead
I bore the death that comes with sin
When My disgusted Father turned His head

I bore, I bore the guilt you owned
I bore the fire of Hades’ flame
I bore transgressions yet unknown
And I bore all owed to your name

I bore, I bore the darkest night
I bore the blood of a thousand rams
I bore the breath and fought the fight
And when I finished, I saved the damned

Trusting Harlots (the fourth in a cycle)

2009-12-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

I once was a strong man of valor
I put all my rivals to flight
I turned my foes’ faces to pallor
I haunted their dreams in the night

I knew my strength’s source was above
But my thoughts spent little time there
I denied all the power thereof
And then let a whore cut my hair

Now I can’t see where I’m going
I’m fed on stale, moldy crust
I ache from the weight I am towing
Of giving a harlot my trust

Slaying Allies -- Part Three in the Cycle

2009-12-08T13:33:00.001-08:00

Up where I watched from my rooftop
I beheld me desire below
From there my lust would not stop
And I finally let myself go

But my sin had grim implications
And my actions would be brought to light
In the face of unlocked expectations
The brother I betrayed had to die

My transgression shattered my virtue
And it brought naught but grievous pain
It is a crime I would gladly undo
But my ally already is slain

Fleeing Giants (being the second in a cycle)

2009-12-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

It was never supposed to be this way
But still, we find ourselves wandering the desert sand
Still we follow pillars by night and by day
Still we wait to enter the Promised Land

But we fled from the giants before us
We trusted not in Yahweh’s Word
Then His power ignored us
When we tried to take up our own sword

And now the reward for our slander
Is to march through the dust and the grime
For forty years we must wander
Fleeing giants the entire time

Wrestling Angels--being the first in a cycle of poems

2009-11-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

I was sleeping alone in the desert
In the tiresome bed I had made
And my troublesome dreams bore no comfort
From the stone where my weary head laid

To myself I was wond’ring aloud there
How it happed that I’d be brought this way
But the thoughts that I pondered and found there
Had little or nothing to say

So I’m wrestling angels at twilight
And I’m hoping my vigor will last
But now all I can do is hold tight
And pray that the morning comes fast

Longing for the Sky

2009-10-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

Within my heart there burns a fire
An ardent flame still seeking more
Eclipsing all I could acquire
Surpassing all I once adored

It burns to ascend ever higher
Until it learns to leap and soar
It changes thought and turns desire
And yearns to fly home to my LORD

When

2009-10-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

When the time has come and then has passed
When the final day has arrived at last

When faults and failures fade away
When light is brought here by the day

When darkened glass is wholly broken
When unwritten words at last are spoken

When question’s answers count no more
When how we played outweighs the score

When guilt and strife trip and fall
When all is nothing and One is all

When we have failed and thus have won
When eastern sky reveals the Son

When all is seen that was afore
“When” shall not matter anymore

And Now (the remnants of a fleeting dream)

2009-10-01T20:20:00.001-07:00

And now at last I find
My heart and soul are blind
To all I left behind

And now the world is sore
And now I long for more
It was not enough before

And now I carry on
Though hope is all but gone
It still infects my tone

And now questions matter less
And now I must confess
That I made my own mess

And now I leave it all
And now I humbly fall
And now I heed His call

And now my self is ended
And now my self is mended
And now I am befriended

And now my joy is full
I cannot tell the whole

Unsteady Wings

2009-09-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

You promised me the wings of an eagle
If I would only trust what You say
So, why am I still weak and feeble?
And why have my dreams gone astray?

Perhaps I have answered my own query
Perhaps I already knew
Perhaps my wings quickly grow weary
So I never fly too far from You

So I will stretch out my wings like an eagle
As I try to avoid earthly things
Though they may not be lofty or regal
I am grateful for unsteady wings

What I Want

2009-08-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

I want to know what I must say
And how it must be said
I want my voice to bring the day
My words to rouse the dead

I want my songs to quell the night
And open deafened ears
I want my pen to bring forth light
To still and waken fears

I want to search and then to find
The way I must prepare
I want to be lost in God’s mind
‘Til His will is my prayer

Confession of a Would-Be Lover

2009-03-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe once in the beginning I claimed to be a prince
But I soon withdrew that bogus claim and haven’t made it since
And I wished for shining armor that would make me a brave knight
But I found it either too expensive or otherwise too tight
And I never had a charger or a white and well-bred horse
Nor have I fought a battle or led a well-trained force

And I know that I have failed you and not treated you aright
And no excuse will quite ring true, but I am not a knight

Perhaps in the initial days I claimed to have it figured out
But I now openly admit my great wisdom was in doubt
And I strived to be a philosophe, or a wise and learned man
But study, thought, and the lack of both thwarted my best plan
And I never met with Aristotle or tried to study Socrates
Nor have I learned from Plato, I have flouted all of these

And though I strived to devise truth, and not give in to lies
I fear I misadvised you, for I am not that wise

I suppose when I first met you I claimed to be a bard
But I soon discovered poetry comes unnaturally hard
And I tried to find artistic words and develop witty rhymes
But I soon found it a bother and would not give the time
So I never wrote a ballad, a limerick, or a verse
And I tried to write a sonnet once but it came out quite adverse

And even my confession here is not much to be heard
I make my profession clear: I am not that good with words

So, if the time has come and gone that I may apologize
I’ll tuck my tail between my legs and forget a second try
For, though I grieve that I have lied, and by deception lost you
It weighs more heavily inside, all that my lies have cost you
For I am not a knight, I am not wise, and I am not eloquent
And, in hindsight, I recognize that I left you no fair hint

But I thought the truth of who I am not worthy of who you are
For I am but a wealthless man, with naught to offer but my heart
So, now the truth is free and clear, and I present myself to you
It’s not what you deserve, my dear, but it’s the best this peasant can do

I Have Seen Love (a poem in three parts)

2009-01-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

It has been said, man is better dead
Than to have never loved at all
To have had and lost is worth the cost
And the climb is worth the fall

But it has not been told since days of old
That love will never leave you
Though the aim be gone, love carries on
If that love indeed were true

For I have seen love fly like a dove
And cross the endless space
It flew and searched ‘til it found its perch
And bestowed its endless grace

I have seen love face the darkness of bitter times
I have seen love cover a multitude of sins
I have seen love search for what life must find
I have seen love stare down death and win

I have seen love fight when all was lost
I have seen love stand steadfast and sure
I have seen love give above the cost
I have seen true love endure

I have seen love grasp on to fleeing hope
I have seen it in the bleakest hour
I have seen love thrive when I could not cope
I have seen love and I’ve seen its power

But, of all these things that I have seen, and with all that it could mean
I have not yet seen love die
And for all the things that love has been, I insist yet once again
That it cannot loose its life

Love, then, cannot be lost, though our hearts be thick with frost
For love does not depend on us
This love for which we search the most does not allow our pride to boast
But requires humble trust

Earth and space may be severed with a place to stand on and a lever
And the stars may fall down from above
But all God does shall be forever and outweighs our own endeavors
And, in the end, I still see His love

Wind

2008-12-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

The wind went forth on the golden morning, like a rider to the sea
It rode again in the glorious noonday, whistling in the trees
As dusk arrived, still it wandered, yonder, faithfully
The stars shined brightly as it came again and found its way to me
I pondered as I stood there, the wind brushing at my cheek
How much alike to the touch of God is the feel of the gentle breeze

Only Thee

2008-12-04T17:39:00.000-08:00

Only Thee and nothing else
For only Thee I deny my self
But what, Lord, must I do
When, to have only you
I must another one receive
The thought I cannot conceive
That when another is joined to me
Still I have only Thee

Only Thee and Thee alone
I give my self, I am Thine own
Help me, Lord, to clearly see
That I need You more than me
So I need her more than I know
For she a part of Thee doth show
So she, it seems, could be the door
To me becoming like Thee more

Only Thee, to only Thee
My love eternally shall be
Though in this life I love another
The second love fuels the other
My love for her, then, must always be
How she helps me reach for Thee
For when I see Thee on Thy throne
I give my crown to Thee alone

Only Thee and nothing more
Only Thee do I adore
My worship forevermore is Thine
Because Thy righteousness is mine
Thy gifts are boundless, to be sure
Thou art Holy, ever Pure
And now Thy Greatness she has shown
So I give my all to Thee alone

To Find My Self

2008-11-23T20:03:00.000-08:00

I left one day to find my self, there was nothing left to lose
There were so many steps that I could take, so many paths to choose
But I was lost and knew no way, and hence seemed surely doomed
For my self was nowhere to be seen and a frigid darkness loomed
Evil powers spun about, meaning to derail me
Darkness hovered overhead; black, black wind assailed me
Spears and swords and harsh, harsh words flew like bolts of lightning
Ghosts and ghouls like mad, mad fools whirled in movement frightening

I left one day to find my self, but I found myself in night
The sun shined not upon this earth, it glowed only with fright
At last my fears were realized and spectres came in full assault
My self was beaten and maligned, they knew my every fault
They struck out with points of steel, breaking flesh and bone
And through this whole accursed time, their eyes with evil shone
Sweat and mud and red, red blood soon were all about me
Tears and smears and cold, cold, fears cause my self to doubt me

I have been wounded in the heart, I hope that it is fatal
For life, it seems, has hated me since my days within the cradle
And all the joy that I had known has surely all depleted
My self was nowhere to be found and wraiths were ‘round me seated
Death would seem a sweet relief but it’s dread clung to my breast
I wished to perish from the earth but feared to take the test
But ghoul and ghost and the foul, foul host soon were rent asunder
As I looked and gazed through bleak, bleak haze my eyes beheld a wonder

.
I left one day to find my self, but I found Someone much better
He removed my chains of doubt and bound me with graceful fetters
He found me in the wilderness where I had lost my self
And He took me up as His own son, and granted me His wealth
He did the deed I could not do, saving flesh and soul
And when the task of payment came, He took up my role
He gave up His breath in low, low death that I might not suffer loss
And now, at last, on this thin, thin path I follow with my cross

.
I have been wounded in the heart, I hope that it will kill me
For when I die I know His love will come at last to fill me
And my self is no more the thing that I would seek o’er all
But now I see it is the thing that most often makes me fall
For my soul has been released from the weight that it was under
And surrender has its liberty as lightning has its thunder
For in Might and Power in my grim, grim hour He came and I heard this word
I find my health, my wealth, my self, when I lose it in my Lord

When Pillars Fail

2008-11-20T18:32:00.000-08:00

I recall the pillar of fire that led by night
It told us where to go in the darkest hour
It ever burned with celestial light
It assured us of the celestial power

I recall the pillar of cloud that guided by day
It set forth the path while the sun still shone
It ever showed us the celestial way
It ever assured us we would reach our home

But now those days are gone and we must invade our Promised Land
We must rely on what He told us in the past
Now we must press on as He seems to stay His hand
We must believe His promises will last

No, the fire and the cloud do not guide us anymore
And the trials of this life will often find us
But just as valid as those pillars that used to go before
Is the guidance of the Word of God behind us

My Life is Like the Dark

2008-11-20T18:31:00.001-08:00

my life is like the dark
my life is like the sea
toilsome tides quench the spark
that longs to burn in me

my heart is like a stone
my spirit like the snow
I wander witless and alone
where e'er my footsteps go

my eyes are like a burned out wick
my strength a wilted flower
my soul is cut down to the quick
my mind has lost its power

for I have soared on broken wings
but then I tumbled to my doom
my flesh sought after worthless things
'til my Savior had no room

oh, I am dark and I am lost
but He shines like a star
I cannot begin to count the cost
that lies within His scars

there is no light my soul can know
but that which He provides
I long to magnify His glow
and shine forth from inside

my life is like the night
but His light still will thrive
and He will not give up the fight
as long as I'm alive

Day After Day

2008-11-20T18:29:00.000-08:00

Day after day, northward I climb
Hoping to find a higher height
Day after day, eastward I sigh
Longing to see a lighter light
Day after day, westward I glance
For I know this day soon shall end
Day after day, southern romance
Tempts me back to where I have been

I stop to listen, I stop to look
To that land that is now below
That land I had fearfully forsook
When I heard the northward call to go
But now, day by day and breath by breath
It calls to me with fading worth
And warns me of impending death
If I ever seek the North

But day after day, I am deaf and blind
To the world that calls me from behind
And day after day, again I die
For he cannot live who wants to fly
Day after day I forsake it all
But that Voice Who calls from the northern way
Day after day I heed His call
And climb (and die) day after day